LolliPop's Cottage: Am I Really A Writer?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Am I Really A Writer?

Has anyone else questioned themselves and asked: Am I really a writer? There are times that I hesitate to share my craft, to let others know that I write. I hold back.

Maybe, I feel this way because writing is never about me, even though there may be some of me in everything I write. Writing is hard work. I apply myself, writing and re-writing every day. So, then why is it so hard for me to grasp onto that title?

This is something I am working on. How about sharing some of your own feelings and tips?

How do you overcome this feeling? Have any of you felt this way?

9 comments:

Lily Whalen said...: “Believe in yourself and in your own voice, because there will be times in this business when you will be the only one who does. Take heart from the knowledge that an author with a strong voice will often have trouble at the start of his or her career because strong,distinctive voices sometimes make editors nervous. But in the end,only the strong survive.” ~Jayne Ann Krentz. Sound familiar? ;)

I think most of us writers experience self-doubt from time to time, unless we are so driven by ego that we can find no imperfection. You'll find many to commisserate with you at Alex Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group: http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.ca/p/insecure-writers-support-group.html; May 23, 2012 at 3:43 PM
Beth Gallagher said...: Oh my goodness, is this ever perfect for me right now! :) A friend of mine that is published is a really good mentor to me, and she said "if you write - you are a writer. If you like what you write, then others will too." Confidence is always the key, isn't it? I have 2 little girls, and we spend alot of time talking and making up stories about confidence. Seems like I need it more than they do!

Thanks, Sarah, for the link to the support group. I'm heading over there right now!; May 24, 2012 at 1:30 PM
Unknown said...: Thank you Maeve for your prayers. I know He will hear them all.; May 24, 2012 at 11:00 PM
Joanna said...: Maeve, I struggle for sure with this but hang onto the words above, I write therefore I am a writer. I am not yet anywhere near where I want my writing to be, but i AM a writer! For me being involved with my crit partner, crit group and SCBWI, Perfect Picture Book Friday, 12x12 etc all help me consolidate this truth.

You too, are a writer, Maeve :-); May 25, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Joanne said...: Oh how I wish someday to be called a writer! I have never had anything published so I feel not worthy of that title...yet.
Blessings, Joanne; May 26, 2012 at 11:42 AM
E. Arroyo said...: I've been writing for a long time and never shared my thoughts in public. Putting myself out there with blogging and different networks helped me come out more.; May 27, 2012 at 9:52 AM
Lynda R Young as Elle Cardy said...: I think this every day. I'm constantly questioning myself and my decision to write. I keep writing, though, because I also remind myself how much I love it.; May 27, 2012 at 8:00 PM
Writer Pat Newcombe said...: I think many of us feel the same as you! Especially when our success is measured mostly by ourselves and not the general public. Keep the faith! And keep doing what you know you can...; May 28, 2012 at 7:14 AM
Maeve Frazier said...: Thank you everyone for that boost and assurance. You are all amazing and so good at what each of you write and do. Thanks for the vote of confidence!; May 28, 2012 at 8:46 AM

Mom Said She Would Be There

This story is not a children's story but, rather a memoir, as well as, the first story that I wrote. It is dedicated to my Mom:

I called my Mom today, to tell her that we were going to have a baby. She was so excited, and couldn't wait to see me. When we went there for supper a few nights later, she couldn't stop talking about the baby. We told her that the baby was due in October. She said, "It's going to be a girl!" Mom was going to make a sweater set in every color for the baby but, she was going to make a pink sweater first.

In April, we celebrated Mom's forty-eighth birthday! Mom hadn't been feeling well lately. It was spring time and everything was supposed to be fresh and new but, over the next couple of weeks, we found out that my Mom had cancer. Although we were devastated, we were hopeful that she would beat it.

As a child Mom was struck with polio, and she was told that she would never be able to walk. She did, first with braces; and then on her own. She was also told that she would never be able to have children because she had a tipped womb, along with other complications. The doctors were wrong; she had five children.

After the operation for her cancer, she was told that they couldn't get it all but, the doctors would try treating it with chemotherapy. After everything she had been through we just knew she could beat this, too!

Mom kept on smiling and joking with lots of talk about the baby. She wanted to know what we were going to name HER! We told her that we hadn't decided on a girl's name or a boy's name, yet. She just laughed. I visited with her every week, and she always talked about the baby. Each time, I convinced myself that she looked a little better. I couldn't or wouldn't bring myself to see that she was weakening, even when she was leaning over a pail and emptying her stomach because the chemotherapy was making her sick. She never complained; she only said that she was sorry, and she hoped that she was not getting me upset! She just wanted to talk about how I was feeling, and making sure that I was taking care of myself, and the baby. On one of my visits, I noticed that she was crocheting something pink. I knew that it was for the baby. I teased her and asked, "What if it is a boy?" She only responded with "It will be a girl!"

May came and went with more treatment and medications. Each time I visited with her she would be crocheting with the pink yarn. I remember telling her that she would be better before the baby was here. She was so looking forward to it! She told me that no matter what, she would be there when SHE was born!

The month of June rushed in too quickly, and precious time was speeding by. Mom was rushed back into the hospital. Even when they were putting her in the ambulance, as we were all crying; she tried to make us laugh, by discreetly sticking up her middle fingers on both hands. Mom always thought this was funny and would do it just to make us laugh. She was in a lot of pain. Now, my visits consisted of just me talking about the baby, hoping she could hear. She was heavily medicated and couldn't respond. Somehow, I knew that she could hear me.

My Mom passed away on June 25th. She went peacefully in her sleep. 'A Lovely Woman' is the epitaph on her tombstone. She truly was!

The next couple of months passed, with birthing classes, a baby shower, and the setting up of the baby's room. With each event, I kept thinking that she said she wasn't going to be there when the baby came.

Finally October was here, and it was the rainiest night that I could remember having. We were on our way to the hospital, in the downpour. The baby was trying to make its appearance; in the delivery room the doctor said "It's a Girl!"

Mom, you were right all the time! After the doctor cut the cord and laid her on my chest, I looked down and SHE was holding her hands, the same way you always did; both middle fingers up on each hand! It was then that I realized that you were with me all the time!

Dad came in to see us the next day. He brought a package with him from you to me. Dad said that you wanted me to have it. When I opened it, inside was a beautiful pink sweater, hat and bootie set; they had the faint scent of your perfume on them.

The baby wore the sweater set home, all snug and warm, as if in a hug from you. Thank you, Mom! Watch out for her, as you always did for me. Sleep well with the angels. They are lucky to have you! Thank you, Mom for being there!

In Loving Memory Of

Betty Marie Hall

Beginning

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Am I Really A Writer?

9 comments: